tell me whats wrong, what i need to change, or any suggestions on where to make any sentence better
and also, do I consider it as a new paragraph if i number my reasons??
thank you
Unseen Dangers
Even though diet pills helps you look slimmer, it can also have a dangerous and hazardous effect to your body. For decades, scientists and experts experimented on several ways to reach the goal to lose unwanted body fat. In the early 1930s, two physicians from Stanford University discovered the ability of the chemical called dinitrophenol (DNP) to increase the speed of a person’s metabolism. But doctors were soon worried after they estimated that at least 100,000 people in the United States had taken DNP after the year of its first publication. The problem? Doctors troubled over the fact that people were taking too much than the normal requirements and in result, caused overdosing which lead to high fevers and eventually, death.
If so, then why is it that there are still a great amount of people accepting this as a safe and effective treatment?
Thousands of people from around the world rely their trust on several methods and techniques in order to achieve the body that they greatly desire. From expensive body trainers to exercising, from cutting of calories all the way to the purchasing of materials from television advertisements. Diet pills is just one example used from the hundreds of ways to lose unwanted body fat.
If you question any random person on why anyone would put so much effort and time in order to become thinner, they may give you several reasons:
1. to boost their self esteem and feel good about themselves
so they would not have to frown every time they see little rolls of belly fat while sitting down
2. to squeeze through small and narrow spaces smoothly and freely
3. to fit into a small bikini and attract a good amount of attention from both men and women
4. to run away from the judging eyes that seems to inflict a strange feeling of embarrassment and distress
5. so they would not need to gasp for air after succeeding a 30 seconds attempt on getting up from the couch
6. to impress who ever they want to and more
Besides of the fact that there can be endless of possible reasonings and opinions, they all seem to come down into one conclusion: self satisfaction.
People somehow are not content on what they have and crave for the things that can make themselves feel satisfied. Why can’t a person be comfortable on how they look rather than torturing themselves with pills to the point that they become sick? Why do they find it so hard to turn their gaze from a slightly overweight person but cannot stop looking at an unhealthy skinny model wishing that it could be them?
Even though diet pills help you become slimmer, they can also have a dangerous and hazardous effect on your body. For decades, scientists and experts experimented on several ways to reach the goal of losing unwanted body fat. In the early 1930s, two physicians from Stanford University discovered the ability of the chemical called dinitrophenol (DNP) to increase the speed of a person’s metabolism. But doctors were soon worried after they estimated that at least 100,000 people in the United States had taken DNP after the year of its first publication. The problem? Doctors were worried that people were taking too much than the normal requirements. In result, users overdosed which lead to high fevers and eventually, death
If this is the case, then why is it that there are still a great amount of people who accept this as a safe and effective treatment?
Thousands of people from around the world rely on almost any method to achieve the body that they greatly desire. From expensive body trainers and exercising, to purchasing weight loss items on television advertisements. Diet pills are just one way of losing unwanted body fat out of thousands.
If you were to question a random person on why someone would put so much effort and time in order to lose weight, they may give you several reasons:
1. to boost their self-esteem and feel good about themselves
2. to squeeze through small and narrow spaces smoothly and with more grace
3. to fit into a small bikini and attract a good amount of attention from both men and women
4. to run away from the judging eyes that seems to inflict a strange feeling of embarrassment and distress
5. so they could be in better physical and athletic shape
6. to impress others
Besides the fact that there can be endless reasons and opinions, they all seem to come down into one conclusion: self-satisfaction.
People somehow are not content with what they have and crave for the things that can make themselves feel satisfied. Why can’t a person be comfortable with how they look rather than torturing themselves with pills to the point that they become sick? Why do they find it difficult to view an overweight person as equal to an unhealthily thin person? How are they really any different?
here you go!
i fixed all your grammar errors and made certain sections sound more professional.
just highlight this with your cursor, then right click on it and press copy. Then, right click and press paste into wherever you’d like it to be (microsoft word, email, etc.)
3 Responses
Leave a Comment
tell me whats wrong, what i need to change, or any suggestions on where to make any sentence better
and also, do I consider it as a new paragraph if i number my reasons??
thank you
Unseen Dangers
Even though diet pills helps you look slimmer, it can also have a dangerous and hazardous effect to your body. For decades, scientists and experts experimented on several ways to reach the goal to lose unwanted body fat. In the early 1930s, two physicians from Stanford University discovered the ability of the chemical called dinitrophenol (DNP) to increase the speed of a person’s metabolism. But doctors were soon worried after they estimated that at least 100,000 people in the United States had taken DNP after the year of its first publication. The problem? Doctors troubled over the fact that people were taking too much than the normal requirements and in result, caused overdosing which lead to high fevers and eventually, death.
If so, then why is it that there are still a great amount of people accepting this as a safe and effective treatment?
Thousands of people from around the world rely their trust on several methods and techniques in order to achieve the body that they greatly desire. From expensive body trainers to exercising, from cutting of calories all the way to the purchasing of materials from television advertisements. Diet pills is just one example used from the hundreds of ways to lose unwanted body fat.
If you question any random person on why anyone would put so much effort and time in order to become thinner, they may give you several reasons:
1. to boost their self esteem and feel good about themselves
so they would not have to frown every time they see little rolls of belly fat while sitting down
2. to squeeze through small and narrow spaces smoothly and freely
3. to fit into a small bikini and attract a good amount of attention from both men and women
4. to run away from the judging eyes that seems to inflict a strange feeling of embarrassment and distress
5. so they would not need to gasp for air after succeeding a 30 seconds attempt on getting up from the couch
6. to impress who ever they want to and more
Besides of the fact that there can be endless of possible reasonings and opinions, they all seem to come down into one conclusion: self satisfaction.
People somehow are not content on what they have and crave for the things that can make themselves feel satisfied. Why can’t a person be comfortable on how they look rather than torturing themselves with pills to the point that they become sick? Why do they find it so hard to turn their gaze from a slightly overweight person but cannot stop looking at an unhealthy skinny model wishing that it could be them?
Even though diet pills help you become slimmer, they can also have a dangerous and hazardous effect on your body. For decades, scientists and experts experimented on several ways to reach the goal of losing unwanted body fat. In the early 1930s, two physicians from Stanford University discovered the ability of the chemical called dinitrophenol (DNP) to increase the speed of a person’s metabolism. But doctors were soon worried after they estimated that at least 100,000 people in the United States had taken DNP after the year of its first publication. The problem? Doctors were worried that people were taking too much than the normal requirements. In result, users overdosed which lead to high fevers and eventually, death
If this is the case, then why is it that there are still a great amount of people who accept this as a safe and effective treatment?
Thousands of people from around the world rely on almost any method to achieve the body that they greatly desire. From expensive body trainers and exercising, to purchasing weight loss items on television advertisements. Diet pills are just one way of losing unwanted body fat out of thousands.
If you were to question a random person on why someone would put so much effort and time in order to lose weight, they may give you several reasons:
1. to boost their self-esteem and feel good about themselves
2. to squeeze through small and narrow spaces smoothly and with more grace
3. to fit into a small bikini and attract a good amount of attention from both men and women
4. to run away from the judging eyes that seems to inflict a strange feeling of embarrassment and distress
5. so they could be in better physical and athletic shape
6. to impress others
Besides the fact that there can be endless reasons and opinions, they all seem to come down into one conclusion: self-satisfaction.
People somehow are not content with what they have and crave for the things that can make themselves feel satisfied. Why can’t a person be comfortable with how they look rather than torturing themselves with pills to the point that they become sick? Why do they find it difficult to view an overweight person as equal to an unhealthily thin person? How are they really any different?
here you go!
i fixed all your grammar errors and made certain sections sound more professional.
just highlight this with your cursor, then right click on it and press copy. Then, right click and press paste into wherever you’d like it to be (microsoft word, email, etc.)
3 Responses
Leave a Comment
April 12th, 2010 at 4:40 pm
Even though diet pills can help you look slimmer, they can also have a dangerous and hazardous effect to your body. For decades, scientists and experts experimented with several ways to reach the goal of losing unwanted body fat. In the early 1930’s, two physicians from Stanford University discovered the ability of the chemical called dinitrophenol (DNP) to increase the speed of a person’s metabolism. However, doctors were soon worried after they estimated that at least 100,000 people in the United States had taken DNP since the year of its first publication. The problem? Doctors were troubled with the fact that people were taking more than the normal requirements. As a result, it was causing an overdose which lead to high fevers and eventually, death. If so, then why is it that there are still a great number of people accepting this as a safe and effective treatment?
Thousands of people from around the world put their trust in several methods and techniques in order to achieve the body types which they desire. From expensive body trainers to exercising, from the cutting of calories all the way to the purchasing of materials from television advertisements. Diet pills are just one example from the hundreds of possible ways people use to lose unwanted body fat.
If you were to question a random person, and ask why anyone would put in so much effort and time just to become thinner, they may give you several reasons:
1. To boost their self esteem and feel good about themselves, so they will not have to frown every time they see little rolls of belly fat while sitting down
2. To squeeze through small and narrow spaces smoothly and freely.
3. To look good in a bathing suit and attract a good amount of attention from both men and women.
4. To run away from the judging eyes that seems to inflict a strange feeling of embarrassment and distress
5. So they will not need to gasp for air succeeding a 30 seconds attempt to get up from the couch.
6. To impress who ever they want to, and more.
People somehow are not content with what they have, and crave for the things that make themselves feel satisfied. Why can’t a person be comfortable with how they look, rather than torturing themselves with pills to the point that they become sick? Why do they find it so hard to turn their gaze from a slightly overweight person but cannot stop looking at an unhealthy skinny model wishing that it could be them? Besides the facts that there can be endless possibilities, reasoning’s and opinions, they all seem to come down to one conclusion: self satisfaction.
References :
So I changed it up a bit, reworded some stuff and switched the paragraphs around a bit. Hoep it helps!! But teacher’s are pretty good at spotting when someone’s work isn’t original, excepecially if you’ve handed things in before. So be careful! xD
April 12th, 2010 at 5:23 pm
Even though diet pills help you become slimmer, they can also have a dangerous and hazardous effect on your body. For decades, scientists and experts experimented on several ways to reach the goal of losing unwanted body fat. In the early 1930s, two physicians from Stanford University discovered the ability of the chemical called dinitrophenol (DNP) to increase the speed of a person’s metabolism. But doctors were soon worried after they estimated that at least 100,000 people in the United States had taken DNP after the year of its first publication. The problem? Doctors were worried that people were taking too much than the normal requirements. In result, users overdosed which lead to high fevers and eventually, death
If this is the case, then why is it that there are still a great amount of people who accept this as a safe and effective treatment?
Thousands of people from around the world rely on almost any method to achieve the body that they greatly desire. From expensive body trainers and exercising, to purchasing weight loss items on television advertisements. Diet pills are just one way of losing unwanted body fat out of thousands.
If you were to question a random person on why someone would put so much effort and time in order to lose weight, they may give you several reasons:
1. to boost their self-esteem and feel good about themselves
2. to squeeze through small and narrow spaces smoothly and with more grace
3. to fit into a small bikini and attract a good amount of attention from both men and women
4. to run away from the judging eyes that seems to inflict a strange feeling of embarrassment and distress
5. so they could be in better physical and athletic shape
6. to impress others
Besides the fact that there can be endless reasons and opinions, they all seem to come down into one conclusion: self-satisfaction.
People somehow are not content with what they have and crave for the things that can make themselves feel satisfied. Why can’t a person be comfortable with how they look rather than torturing themselves with pills to the point that they become sick? Why do they find it difficult to view an overweight person as equal to an unhealthily thin person? How are they really any different?
here you go!
i fixed all your grammar errors and made certain sections sound more professional.
just highlight this with your cursor, then right click on it and press copy. Then, right click and press paste into wherever you’d like it to be (microsoft word, email, etc.)
References :
April 12th, 2010 at 6:02 pm
"Even though diet pills helps…" to "Even though diet pills help"
"…you look slimmer, it…" to "…you look slimmer, they…"
"…. a dangerous and hazardous effect" to "…dangerous and hazardous effects"
You should delete ‘experts’ and just keep ’scientists’
Instead of:
"For decades, scientists and experts experimented on several ways to reach the goal to lose unwanted body fat."
Try: "For decades, scientists have tested several methods to lose unwanted body fat."
Instead of:
In the early 1930s, two physicians from Stanford University discovered the ability of the chemical called dinitrophenol (DNP) to increase the speed of a person’s metabolism
Try:
In the early 1930s, two physicians from Stanford University discovered dinitrophenol’s (DNP) ability to increase the speed of a person’s metabolism.
Instead of:
But doctors were soon worried after they estimated that at least 100,000 people in the United States had taken DNP after the year of its first publication.
Try:
The discovery seemed great at first, but doctors soon grew worried after an estimated 100,000 people in the United States had taken DNP within its first year of publication
Instead of:
The problem? Doctors troubled over the fact that people were taking too much than the normal requirements and in result, caused overdosing which lead to high fevers and eventually, death.
Try:
Doctors feared that consumers were taking much more than the required dosage. The result of a DNP overdose is high fever and eventually death.
Reword this: If so, then why is it that there are still a great amount of people accepting this as a safe and effective treatment?
(I can’t think of a way to make that sentence work.)
Instead of:
Thousands of people from around the world rely their trust on several methods and techniques in order to achieve the body that they greatly desire.
Try this:
Thousands of people from all over the world rely on different techniques to achieve their dream body.
Instead of:
From expensive body trainers to exercising, from cutting of calories all the way to the purchasing of
materials from television advertisements. Diet pills is just one example used from the hundreds of ways to lose unwanted body fat.
Try this:
People who’ve tried everything from paying personal trainers to purchasing expensive exercise equipment may feel pressured to try diet pills or even starve themselves to be thin.
Instead of:
If you question any random person on why anyone would put so much effort and time in order to become thinner, they may give you several reasons:
Try this:
There are several reasons why people wish to be thin.The most common include…
Don’t number it. that’s tacky. Place in a paragraph like this:
The most common include boosting self-esteem, impressing the other gender and avoiding judgemental stares. Despite the endless list of reasons, it all seems to come down to self satisfaction.
One of the biggest problems in our society is the constant obsession with self-image. People are never content with their own appearance. If it were a perfect world, we would be comfortable in our own skin.
Come up with your own ending. Not a question.
References :
I did it by myself